Goodbye to 2006

Can you believe it? We begin a new year tomorrow. It seems like 2006 was such a year of change. Vince and I had some health setbacks that we had to deal with but we are doing well. We moved from Florida to Ohio in July and are getting used to both the climate and our new home. When we changed the address, we also changed the phone number, insurance carriers, new driver's license (had to take a test), and even had to change the cell phone number (which I still can't remember). We have changed furniture because what fit the old house didn't work at the new one. We changed the appliances to gain important safety features. We changed the way the car is serviced to get ready for the first winter we have experienced in 22 years. We changed doctors, lawyers, and dentists. (glad there was no indian chief to change)

One thing that remained constant is our friends. The ones we have both in Florida and Ohio are still in touch and offering support. Friends are a wonderful blessing that keep us on track. When this disease first began, I lost a few "friends". Guess they weren't friends after all. I know in my heart that the real friends will always be close in contact and in our hearts. The support we have gained from family has truly been a blessing.

So now I will look forward to 2007 as my Year of Hope. I will hope for continued progress in finding a cure for this disease and the many others that challenge our existence and rob us of time with our families. I will hope for happiness to sustain us through the hard times. I will hope for love to give us strength. I will hope for tolerance and empathy. I will hope for many things.........

I will pray that our hopes and dreams come true.

Happy New Year to my friends and family and to all who read my posts. May 2007 be a wonderful year for all of you and may it also be your Year of Hope.

I'm Back

Can you believe it? I remembered how to get back into this. I know I haven't been here for quite a while. I hope you haven't given up on me. We had a wonderful Christmas this year. My son, his wife, and 3 of our grandchildren came for dinner. Vince helped me prepare everything and we bought a Honey Baked Ham. We exchanged gifts and enjoyed spending time together. My granddaughters will come back on Thursday to bake cookies with grandma so that should be fun. Vince's four kids called and we got to talk to the other grandchildren. Both my brothers called too and some friends so it turned out to be a wonerful day.

The weather has been good. No snow yet. It is even supposed to get up to 55 F this week so not a bad December.

Can you imagine that in less than a week it will be a new year? This year has gone so fast. We love our new home and are enjoying fixing it up. I know I have some New Year resolutions to make and better write them down. One is to lose 10-20 lbs. Good luck with that! I also need to get on a better schedule. I go to bed too late and then end up sleeping well into the morning. So I think I better work on that.

I'm still taking the same medicines. We haven't noticed many changes in the last few months except for me being more tired. I do have trouble with words sometimes but that is usually when I'm really tired. Vince is really great with helping me with recipes and measuring things so I'm still cooking. We hope this next year will be a good one and that I stay on level ground with this disease.

I wish all of you a very Happy New Year! Stay tuned for future writings.

I Wish You Enough

Today, I just wanted to share this with you.

A mother and daughter were in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking,

"Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'.

May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone".

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".

Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....

To all my friends and loved ones,

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

A Really Nice Weekend

This was a good weekend. On Saturday my son and 2 grandaughters came over and it was so much fun to spend time with the girls. John watched sports with my husband and the girls and I played on the computer and talked girl talk.

On Sunday, I had to fill out some papers for the new neurologist and do laundry. In the afternoon, I rode along to take the grandaughters home. I sat in the back with the 15 year old and we had such a nice chat. She is going to the homecoming dance and is so excited.

Tomorrow I go to the new neurologist here in Ohio. I am apprehensive about the visit and meeting someone new. I was very comfortable with the doctor in Orlando. I hope it goes well.

A Very Nice Tuesday

This past Tuesday we drove to my hometown. It took about 1 1/2 hours and it was a beautiful drive. The trees are starting to change now and the bright yellows, oranges and reds are so wonderful. This is something I really missed while we lived in Florida. The sun was shining and it was very warm for an October day. We visited the cemetery where my parents and grandparents are buried. We also stopped for a visit with my best friend Kay and had lunch with her and her husband. It was such a great day. I even stopped at a local hamburger joint that has been there since I was a kid. It is call "The Jug". We drove past the house where I lived as a child and past my mom and dad's old house. I love going back and visiting. Now that we are back in Ohio we will be able to do it more often.

Where Does The Time Go?

It just seems that the days fly by. My friends kept reminding me that I needed to post again and I really meant to. I just kept forgetting to do it. I think I need to put a note on the refrigerator. After all, I go there a lot. I just bought a new refrigerator with an alarm on the door in case I leave it open too long. What I really need is one that oinks when I open it!

I woke up Wednesday morning at 4:30 am thinking that I had to go to work. I was so frustrated when I couldn't find my suits hanging in the closet. May husband woke up and by then I was in the bathroom looking for my curling iron. He asked me what I was looking for and I said - nothing - go back to sleep. Then I thought I'd better call in to work to tell them I was not coming to work. After all, how could I work if I couldn't find my clothes or curling iron. Somewhere between there and the phone, I got tired so I just turned around and went back to bed. Very strange feeling. At the time, it made perfect sense. Can you imagine the look on the face of the secretary if I had done that? Well, maybe she would have just had a good laugh.

I'd better go put that reminder on the refrigerator to write again tomorrow.

Sorry I Wasn't Here For A While

When I started this blog, it was my intent to post everyday. I haven't done very well with that idea. Sometimes I just forget. This time it was because we went on a trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia. One of our daughters flew down and drove us up there so that we could enjoy the trip. It was so nice of her to do that and we really did enjoy the drive. We spent some wonderful days with the children and grandchildren. They are so cute and have grown so much since we saw them last. We also met our newest addition, Sydney, who is now almost 4 months old. What a little doll. We had such a nice visit with everyone and were there for two of the children's first day of kindergarten as well as the oldest one starting school this year. Our son-in-law drove us part way home (just outside Boston) and we drove home from there. On the way home we saw a moose! Wow - it sure was big. That was the first one I have ever seen in the wild. We are very tired from the trip, but have made up our minds that we will continue traveling for as long as we can. There are so many things I want to do and see while I can still enjoy it. I know the time will come when we can't go anymore but now is not the time.

Now I need to get back to unpacking from the move and putting my house together. I can remember a time when I could whip it into shape in a flash but again - now is not the time. Some days I hate this disease! It makes me tired and disorganized. Or maybe I'm just getting old! Such is life.

I'm Still Learning

I was just thinking about something today. When I first got the diagnosis of Alzheimer's, I wondered if I would still be able to learn new things. Oh, my rate of learning has changed and when I read something, I might have to read it several times before it sinks in, but I am still learning. The best part is that I am learning compassion that I think I lacked in before. I always thought I understood the plight of those that are affected with terminal diseases, but I'm finding that as I go through this I am becoming a lot more understanding. That is a wonderful thing. I wanted to share with you some of the other cool things I have learned.

1. Refrigerators with an alarm that sounds when the door is left open is great

2. An electric stove with controls on the front that can be locked to keep me from cooking without supervision are worth the money. The controls on the front also keep me from reaching across the hot burners.

3. Nightlights and grab bars are my friend.

4. When I say 'Depends' I am not always referring to terminology meaning something may or may not happen.

5. The shortest trip can now be referred to as Jean's marvelous adventure.

6. Magazines last forever because all articles and pictures are new.

7. I can hide my own Easter eggs.

So, don't worry about me because I'm still learning! Life is good.

This Should Be Fun

We went today to see what we would have to do to get our Ohio driver's license. Well, they gave us this little book and said to study it for a written test. Now we haven't taken a written driving test for over 45 years so this could be fun. I think we will wait until we get back from our trip for this one. They also told us that we will have to register the title for the car and, of course, get out new plates for the car. I think this will wait too. Hmmmm....I see a pattern forming here.

I did have a good day today. Our son, John, came over for coffee. After that, Vince and I went to have the car serviced for the trip. Since it was going to take more than 2 hours, we called John to come and get us and we went to Panera for lunch. Then it was to John's house where I took a nap. After picking up the car, we found a really big JC Penny Outlet store. Lots of fun.

We are babysitting my four legged grandson, Brutus, while mom & dad go on a houseboat trip. So far, he and Marvin are getting along fine. We will have him here until Monday. Again..this should be fun! We'll see.

Lost Again For A While

OK. Now I have put this site in my favorites and copied my login and password. I hope I won't forget how to get here again. This has been a strange few days. Sometimes I am very clear and making perfect sense. Then I do something really strange like losing an entire day. Until 8:30 PM today I thought it was Monday. When I found out it was Tuesday, I asked my husband to tell me about Monday and he patiently explained what we did yesterday. I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't remember any of it. Today I put something in the microwave for what should have been one minute. Good thing my husband was in the kitchen because I really put the timer for 1 hour. I hate days like that! This afternoon I was clear as a bell (other than being on the wrong day). Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Finding My Way Back To Posting

You will not believe how long it took me to find my way back here. It seems that when you have Alzheimer's disease and you are away from anything for a while that it is easy to forget the web address, the login, and the password.

Not long after moving to Ohio, my computer died. We had a short service for it on the way to Best Buy. The video card went out and since it is a laptop, that part can only be repaired by replacing the mother board. Luckily, I had purchased an extended warranty so they fixed it at no cost to me.

Most of today has been spent backing up files that were not lost and catching up on email that had accumulated. Mary, my friend from DASNI, was nice enough to give me the web address. I tried every combination of login and password I could think of before finding a way to have them email it to me. I guess I better write it down this time!

I will resume my posts tomorrow when my head is clearer. It is nice to be back.

Dementia and The Linen Closet

I stayed pretty busy all day today. My husband and I cleaned out some closets, got everything out of the attic, and boxed up some more things for the move. All day I procrastinated about cleaning the linen closet. This closet always has a way of getting disorganized as we pull out towels, sheets, and other items. Usually nobody sees it so I don't worry much about it. But the time finally came that I could no longer ignore it so this is what happened:

Walked into the bathroom and opened the door
The cupboard was tidy from ceiling to floor
How could this be? It should be a mess
Am I in the right house? It leaves me to guess.

The blankets were there in a very neat stack
So were the pillows in a row in the back
Towels folded neatly all faced the same way
Wash cloths and hand towels on lovely display

Sheets were matched up and looking real good
Pillowcases on top of them just as they should
All extra products in a row on the floor
Cleaners and TP and tissues galore

My confusion was growing, just how could this be?
I went to get Vince just so he could see
He hugged me and smiled, “It’s looking just right”
Don’t you remember? You cleaned it last night!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

I have decided that it may be a waste of time to plant vegetables and flowers outside. Perhaps I should stay inside without the bugs and the dirt and just plant them in my closets and cupboards. It makes perfect sense to me. Everytime I open a closet or cupboard in preparation for this move, I find that things have multiplied, filling the area. I don't remember having to water, fertilize, weed or divide. So how did everything grow out of control in such a short time? On the bright side, I am discovering things that I forgot I had. It is like a treasure hunt. I'm finding clothes that have apparently shrunk just from being in the closet. I could swear that they fit when I hung them up! And just where did all of these shoes come from? I only have 2 feet. And come to think of it, why are there 5 hangers available for each item? There is surely a mating process going on in my closet. For shame. Turn off the light and the little buggers make friends while I sleep. I can hardly wait to go through the linen closet!

Cruising Through A Day of Rest

Not much going on today. I think I just got way to tired from all the activity yesterday with the closing of the house. Anymore, all that paperwork and listening to instructions is very confusing and tends to wear me out. Our friends called today. We already had a cruise booked in November with them, but we all decided we would like to go for 2 weeks instead of 1. So - after a few phone calls - we got that all worked out. It just makes sense that if we are going to fly back to Florida from Ohio we might as well vacation for 2 weeks. At least that is what we convinced ourselves of. I went into the chat room of DASNI and talked with Mary, Mari, and Bill. We had a great chat today a laughed a lot. Going to chat with these wonderful friends always improves my mood and my day. After that, more phone calls relating to the move to Ohio. I also talked to 3 of the grandchildren today. My oldest granddaughter turned 15 today. Happy Birthday Sarah! They live in Ohio and it will be so nice to see them more often. I think I will just rest for the remainder of the day and hope I can sort through some more things tomorrow. I really need to part with some of my treasures!

Day 2 - The Closing

I didn't sleep much last night. The thunder from the continuing storms rumbled most of the night. It reminded me of what seemed like the rumble of my thoughts racing through my head. What am I doing? Are we making a mistake? What if we don't like Ohio? What if we get to closing and something falls through? These days, I tend to create such rumbling monsters in my head. Morning came and I was tired from listening to the storms, dreading going out in the rain - dreading selling my home. This would be the final cut. The final cutting of the cord of what has been my life for 22 years. The final cut from a job that I enjoyed, the friends that I love, the constant sunshine. Why did it have to rain and be so gloomy. It just made my mood more gloomy. I struggled from the bed, sure that this would be a miserable day. But when I pulled the blinds, the sun shone so brightly that it made me squint. I opened the door and the sweet smell of freshness hit me and then a realization washed over me. God has sent the sun and the freshness to me as a sign that this is a new beginning. Suddenly everything was clear. We had breakfast and with a song of thanksgiving I went to close on this house. Everything went smoothly, just as I had prayed. Things appear to finally be falling into place. Tomorrow I will continue with the plans for our new adventure.

First Frantic Day Before The Move

I think the enormity of moving from Florida to Ohio is finally setting in. Tomorrow we close on our current home. It seems very foreign to be leaving our home in this beautiful retirement community. We moved to this community over 4 years ago and have enjoyed the golf courses, the pools, the beautiful clubhouse, THE SPA. We have made wonderful friends here. I have so much enjoyment watching the Florida critters from my sliding glass door. It looks out over the 13th green and birds, bunnies, snakes, ducks, and sand cranes provide hours of entertainment. And although the heat in Florida can be intense, will I adapt to the cold and dreary days of my home state - Ohio? This disease has forced us to make some amazing decisions and this move is one of them. It will be wonderful being close to my family and Ohio friends again. It will be an adventure for sure. I think I'll just try to remain upbeat about this and accept that this is what is necessary for us at this time of our life. I'll see how I feel tomorrow when I put my name on the line and part with my home.